Today while we’re all having cook-outs and enjoying the American dream, terrorists are plotting their next attack. We will be pre-occupied with our Fourth of July celebrations while they will be amassing at our borders preparing for war.

Up until now, the government has been concerned about keeping Mexicans out, but they’ve not considered just how dangerous our neighbors from the north really are. For years Al-Queda of Canada has been sending Canadian infiltrators into the United States. Unlike other “Arab” Al-Queda members, the Canadians don’t look the part. Until you hear the terrorists talk, they look just like you and me!

Canadians terrorists have many sleeper cells in the United States. No one can be trusted. Your wife and children may have been kidnapped and replaced with Canadian sleeper agents. Since they look exactly like us, there is only one way to determine their sleeper status: force them to say “dollar” and “about". If they say the two words perfectly then you know they’re the real deal but if they say “dough-larr” or “a boot", get your shotgun ready!

According to recently found documents, the Governor of Michigan, who is also a Canadian, has been found to have links to a Moose training camp in northern Canada. In the camp, they sharpen the antlers and mount machine gun turrets on the backs of Moose, then train them for suicide missions. The King of Canada and the Canadian government have no idea this camp even exists, or they’re just saying they don’t.

The documents also reference that the King of Canada, Stephen Harper, is the leader of Al-Queda of Canada. The man, in French-speak so we wouldn’t understand, demanded that America celebrate Canada’s 140th birthday on July 1st or die on the 4th. Since we ignored his demands, we signed our death warrant.

Tens of Canadians are currently at our borders mounted on their individual faithful Moose. You can almost hear their battle cry, “For Allah, Eh!”

Beware of the Canadian attack, for if successful, the 7/4 holiday will be wiped off the calendars like everyone’s birthday on 9/11. Their birthday is now overshadowed by the horrible events that day offered us so many years ago. How do you tell someone, “Hey man, Happy September Eleventh"? Imagine not being able to celebrate the 4th of July because society required you to be all sad and stuff… That would be horrible.