We are confined to that which we define ourselves.

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Published on Wednesday, 21 September 2011 18:42

Written by Advisor

We often find ourselves justifying our position or place in life with statements like:

"It's the way I am."

"I'm impatient."

"I have anger issues."

"I am an alcoholic."

"I am an addict."

"I am a bad person."

It is one thing to accept that you have a problem (challenge), it is an entirely different thing to embrace it.  Initially it is very healthy to accept you have a "problem."  Once you accept it, truly accept it, then you own it and can change your situation.  Understand that it has been your predisposition or default behavior.  Notice how your "problem" can influence your decisions.  To say "It's just the way I am" is to sell yourself short.  You, like everyone else, choose who and what you are.

Your past has led you to where you are now and you may notice that many of the definitions you assign to yourself are as a result of conditioned response.  If you do something and there is a favorable outcome, you're more likely to do it again.  Many times these "favorable outcomes" are related to short term gain at the cost of long term gain.  Those of us who live mainly for short term gain build elaborate justifications to make us "feel" like we've made the "best" decisions we could have.  Until we realize that our perception of who and what we are is impacted by our choice, we will continue to seek justifications for our definitions of ourselves.  We will defend these justifications as if our lives depend on it.  We ruin relationships, blame others for our "problems" and look to others to "make" us happy or content.

If you are not happy, if you don't like your life, change your definitions of yourself and find that your life reflects the change.